TODAY

Miss Kitty

....named for the Kit Fox...and the 1955-1975 Gunsmoke Gutsy Saloon Keeper

If you are a widow, you face a procession of days without your life partner, your sweetheart, best friend and the center of your previous life. I say "previous life," even though it may have been a day ago that you lost your partner. It may be ten years, twenty years, or seven years -- like me. It doesn't matter, as you probably know if you have been a widow for very long. Forever is forever, and there are no degrees of forever. What I have found is that the focus of my life alone is less the future and more intensely focused on today. I am currently reading a book by the Mayo Clinic about how to lead a stress-free life. Find it on Amazon "Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress Free Living" So far, I have learned that the reason people don't focus solely on the moment, on the present, on today is that the brain is hard-wired to worry about threats. Once you become a widow, it's hard to be threatened. I have started The Widow Lessons Blog because I have written a book by that title. I'm in the process of reaching out to publishers but I may decide to self-publish. No matter which, the book will soon be available. Since I wrote the book to reach out and hopefully help other widows, I thought, "Why wait!" Today my son, Andy, stopped by to check on me. I've been sick with a bug of some sort that has me coughing all night. I caught this bug exactly one day after I lost my "really great" medical insurance -- I recently retired and am now self-paying for crappy, catastrophic mishaps and illness type insurance that I can't afford to use for a mere bug. It's true what they say....that your car breaks down one day after the warranty is expired. Same with your vacuum cleaner and your computer. There's a force at work here that has no name, other than "s--- happens."  So, of course I would get sick on "bad insurance ground zero day."   I talked with Andy about my blog idea, and he asked me to log into his blog so that he could explain a few components. Unfortunately, when I went to his URL, it led me to a huge penis (in my limited opinion) and an appreciative, topless beauty with a "gee-gaw" look on her face. Andy has gone home now, to recover from his shock and to see if he can fix his URL... Apparently, people in the world plug in pornography to your URL and then make you pay to take the porn off. I didn't know that. So, I learned from Andy and from our pornography moment that if I start a blog, I need to tend it daily. That I can do. As I said, I'm retired and I want to help people deal with the life-obliterating experiences of life, including that of becoming a widow against your will. So, for today, I have created a blog. I have had a pornography lesson that was attached to a blogging lesson. I am grateful to Andy. On another post, you'll undoubtedly learn about my other two adult kids, Ben and Caroline who also help me, teach me, and -- I hope -- need me as much as I need them.  I await the remainder of my day to unfold -- especially after a 3:15PM pacific time vet appointment I have for my dog, Miss Kitty. She periodically cries out in back pain and loses her legs and stumbles. I've only adopted Miss Kitty a month ago, so there's no telling what I'll discover about her back. But I have a great vet at Edmonds Veterinary Hospital. Find Edmonds Veterinary Hospital at http://edmondsvet.com So that is how it is with me today....and most days.  I try to see where I am needed, and step in.  See what I need, and be willing to take care of myself.  I'll leave you with the quote that spoke to me today. By Hemingway. "We are all broken. That's how the light gets in." ******* ******* Update:  Miss Kitty had xrays. They think her hind leg is injured and put her on Rymadil. No spinal injury. Today I am grateful for vets and for meds. I have to keep Miss Kitty from jumping off places, chairs, sofas, etc. for a couple of weeks.  I will find a way to put her in my pocket....otherwise known as live under my strict supervision.